![when your friend tells u hes gay meme when your friend tells u hes gay meme](https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/S3AZA7GKKMI6TFQVR4NDFFROAQ.jpg)
Even my own husband admittedly can’t do it. Or maybe the problem is that it’s been challenging to come across men who can connect in an intimate way-I mean truly dish it back-without imposing their sexual predilections on the situation. Maybe it’s only in theory that I’m evolved enough to think members of the sex to which one is attracted could be platonically close. The truth is though, among my male friendships, I maintain only two that make me feel as exposed as Abie does and for that reason, I rarely see those friends. Now that I’m here though, I’m starting to think that my language of intimacy should actually predispose me to more male friendships, no? It doesn’t depend on physical attraction or romance or gender, which should make it easier for me to be friends with a man. It can rarely be fully exercised, but still forever (“ forever“) bind you to another person. All it takes with big talk, though, is a deep conversation that makes you feel seen or understood and then clink, you’re connected. With touch, you have to feel it to, you know, feel it. But the thing about big talk that is different from physical touch is that it’s much more theoretical. getting to the core of intellectual angst, philosophical force, emotional intelligence. If Abie’s language of intimacy is touch, mine is big talk-the opposite of small talk, e.g. The ones I don’t work with are mostly the husbands of my female friends, and this classification of “friendship” is based purely on the fact that we have text message threads in which neither of our spouses is present. I have only a fistful of genuine-as in, close-friendships with heterosexual men. His language of intimacy depends a lot on touch (I know this because he literally thanks me every time I run my fingers through his hair, or rub his shoulders, or reach for his hand), and when you can experience such deep connection based simply on the act of making physical contact (whether in a platonic setting or not) with another person, and you’re hellbent on Doing What’s Right (which, bless him, he is), it builds a wall that is challenging to bring down. And if I may be so bold as to put words in his mouth or ideas in his head, I wonder if, because he is so regimented-so loyal to his discipline, his personal compass of restraint-he keeps a distance. What he means when he says connectivity, I think, is intimacy.
![when your friend tells u hes gay meme when your friend tells u hes gay meme](https://media.makeameme.org/created/how-your-friend-n7xf8v.jpg)
As his argument goes: There is always tension when you’re with someone with whom you could have sex, and that tension erodes the capacity for genuine connectivity. My husband, Abie, is sure that you, or at least he, can’t maintain a close friendship with a member of the opposite sex-a woman who is not me.